The other recurring dream I have that isn't nightmare (usually) is unique, because I had it told to me before I ever literally dreamt it. At some point in a round of PQ's, Jesse was describing to me how he imagined me being happy in the future.
If i remember the original conversation correctly, he described a scene in which I was curled up with a good book, a good cup of tea, and a nice slice of toast to go with it, in front of a window outside of which was a body of water.
I was enjoying all these things and simply Being, whilst listening to the voice of the person whom i Loved most in the next room- singing not to me, but about me.
When you asked me what my ideal future home looks like, I really couldn't tell you, because that's all I can imagine.
The dream only lasts what feels like seconds, and it's pretty much the same every time. I never get to see who it is in the other room or hear his voice un-muffled. I never get to know what my relationship to him is. Best friend? Lover? Husbando (bless his heart)? I just feel happy being Home with him, knowing and being known, and feeling intimate and peaceful even in separate rooms.
Just the thought of my life ever containing moments like that is enough to freeze me over completely; and after waking from that dream, the recovery time is even longer than that of my most horrifying night terrors.
Last night, I dreamt you were there. The layout and the details of the place are always vague and irrelevant, but I somehow recognized it anyway. I was showing you all the new pictures i had put on the walls: all photos i had taken and was proud of. You brought wine and cheese, and we enjoyed them together while having a good time... folding laundry???
It was a strange dream (though pretty tame as far as mine go), but I can see reasons why you were in it. You do for/to me some of the same things that dream does. I'm in the same amount of whelming disbelief at being a pie slice in your life as i would be if my dreams really came true.
So don't ever try to describe your points of supposed imbalance in our friendship as ridiculous, because I can and will one-up you.
No comments:
Post a Comment