My crimes?
- waking up late after not setting an alarm
- getting *out* of bed even later
- getting ready and then realizing that since it's now thirty minutes into class and it'll take me another fifteen to get there, it's my only class of the day, the teacher doesn't take roll, and lectures are posted online, that it wouldn't be worth wasting another two+ hours of my time to attend and wait and return home.
- letting everything up to this point happen without telling my mother, who has taken it upon herself to use a good portion of her own time to continue driving me or being my passenger to class everyday until I can get my
If you want to be treated like an adult, start fucking acting like one.
You'll wince if I say I deserve her outrage, but I really did have this coming. I could have made it to class if I had tried harder; if I hadn't taken so long to get ready; if I had skipped breakfast again; if i hadn't consumed so much caffeine last night; if I had set my alarm like any responsible adult would.
Is it irresponsible to assess my limits and my time and decide when and how they would best be utilized?
Is it irresponsible to hold off on some things, such as getting a driver's license, until I can trust my mental and emotional states to not be compromised to the risk of my own or someone else's life?
I don't know, but it's probably "irresponsible" of me to keep making the same mistakes and taking the damage, and then blogplaining about it like old baby me would.
i. it's debatable, culture-specific, situational, etc..., whether you're objectively or even subjectively an adult or not.
ReplyDeletebut how you should be treated is not subjective. you should be treated with love, no matter what.
**the One Person Who has the right to blast you, doesn't.** everyone else needs to kuradi follow His example, else *they are in the wrong.*
ii. even from a secular perspective, it's really really stupid to go around yelling at *anyone,* *especially* loved ones, because it's detrimental to the yeller, the yellee, the relationship between those two, and anyone else around whose life is intertwined therewith. it's both a sign of and a contribution to unhealth.
iii. when someone responsible for your development is clearly failing, and any of the reasons why le is doing so are plain to you but not to len... then it falls to the responsiblee to attempt to correct that in whatever cooperative manner le would be willing to consider.
you know all of this already. i'm reminding you not because your brain can't but because i hate letting my loved ones continue living in unhealth, whether their own or someone else's. i have been rebuffed / rebuked for butting into "business" not my own (maybe due more to the personal & private nature of the business than to who i am or how i approach things), and that has made me much more cautious... but don't be surprised if my PQs become more frequent and more probing and more... "strongly encouraging," as Sensei would say.
i guess i could just back off and suffer with you from afar if you gave me a direct order. but until that happens i'm throwing in with you because i'm a fucking honey badger. and you know what honey badger does.
p.s. i wanted to comment immediately but i waited a whole half hour (and took a snack and bathroom break) first in order to make my comment less unworthy of posting. #success #growth #friendship
I mostly agree with you, except le is no longer responsible for my development. I'm trying to find ways to voice my concerns for health or nudging in the right directions in ways that will elicit minimal backlash. le actually came up with something in the way of that pursuit, but i found it to be questionable and still haven't decided whether or not it's worth trying.
DeleteYes, deerest, i know what honey badger does.
He eats the scryaps.
<3
you may be wondering, "zay, why such a short comment? you barely even said words." ¬_¬
ReplyDeletebecause everything else i have to say would be foolish outside the context of a conversation. don't fall over in shock or anything but i'd like to get coffee sometime.