Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I think something important is happening. I'm just not sure what it is. Small but weighty interpersonal tensions that were never there before have been tipping me off for a while now, whether or not they are actually a result of these particular changes. So far, this has been a season of meticulously choosing each day what things are important, and burning or tossing aside the rest; of deciding what I want to be adept in and running after them until I either give out or grow better legs; of also knowing when to intentionally and productively rest. It's really difficult. And it feels really good. However, the side-effects of this layered treatment of continual reconstruction of values, knowing that i know nothing, and being more intentional about some things while letting so many less important things go (like inhibitions, insecurities, anxieties... send help) include the destruction of what were nearly concrete plans.

Out of curiosity for what i'm really doing to myself, I took a personality test again. Four times. My results were INTP each time. I've been INFP, with emphasis on the eff for a long time, so this is a bit interesting. I've changed my way of doing, thinking of, and questioning a lot of things, mostly because I've wanted to. I value analysis, logic, and continuous improvement- in general and in becoming more cognizant and able. So, T has probably been a little seedling in the shade this entire time, and its growth is finally being fostered. 

I've noticed that nearly all of my relational tensions are between myself and people who do not share those values of mine. These aren't anywhere near terrible problems (yet), and just mean that my empathetic muscles get a little more work. As for my more important plans and goals, they are currently under speculation, and I'm not at all certain what will become of them. For now I'm mostly enjoying working hard, embracing opportunities and freedoms to be more myself and get to know more of what that means, knowing that my jobs are primarily to know and serve Him and to serve people, and finding new ways to do all of that.